They say that friendship is a little like tennis. The ball represents the back and forth interaction in friendships: it takes at least two people, it’s fun, and you take turns.

I have fond memories of my first friends in life.

Annette:

Annette was cute and bubbly, the same age as me, and full of energy. We were born just a few days apart in the same hospital. I remember one day when we were playing over at her house, and she said, “Let’s put apples in our shirts,” and then we went over to show her mom. I remember thinking that probably wasn’t a good idea, and I was right. Her mom frowned at us and I was so embarrassed and, to make it even worse, Annette told her mom that it was my idea! Our moms were friends and we were also neighbors, until Annette and her family moved away when we were in first or second grade. I was sad when she moved. Our neighborhood was full of boys, and there weren’t many girls my age to play with.

Lynn:

Lynn was also a neighbor; she lived two doors down from our house, and although Lynn was a couple of years younger than me, we got along very well. Her house was warm and inviting, filled with antiques and the tick-tock sound of an old clock. We always played indoors so I guess that’s why I remember her house so well.

Lynn was quiet and small for her age, and she was super sweet. I remember her mom telling me one day that Lynn’s health was very fragile and that was why she couldn’t play outdoors, and also why she couldn’t play as often as I wanted to. I didn’t quite understand at the time and as life would have it, our friendship eventually faded. Years later, I was so sorry to hear that she had passed away in her thirties. I never learned what caused her early death, but finally understood the implications of what her mom meant when she told me that she couldn’t play outside or very often.

Carla:

Carla and I met in 3rd grade at our elementary school. I remember she had the prettiest smile and a beautiful complexion. Most of my memories of our friendship consisted of playing with Barbie dolls, spending the night with each other, and playing at school. Our friendship was short-lived though as she also moved away. Several years later I was surprised to see her at high school, but so many years had passed, we really didn’t know each other anymore.

Judi:

Judi lived next door to our elementary school and I remember thinking how cool it was that she could walk to and from school every day. We were friends from the 4th through 6th grade. She was creative, fun to be around, and we had something in common: The Beatles! We, like almost every other young girl in 1964, were crazy about John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Besides listening and singing along to Beatles songs, we liked to dance, practice cheers, play foursquare, and tetherball. She was so athletic and was usually always better than me in whatever activity we did.

I remember her mom would drop us off in downtown Indianapolis to go shopping all by ourselves. I felt so grown up doing this, and I think we were only 10 or 11 years old at the time. I also remember going on a trip with her family to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. I had never been to a museum like this and was excited to go to Chicago with them.

Photo booth fun in 1964 or 1965 with Judi and me on the left, Marty (Vicki’s friend) and Vicki (Judi’s sister) on the right, and me in an old car in the middle photo at the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry.

We lost touch after 6th grade when we went to different junior high schools for 7th through 9th grade. We ended up going to the same high school but it wasn’t until the end of our sophomore year that I realized who she was. She had grown at least five or six inches taller than me and I hadn’t even recognized her. It was sad though, because we didn’t really know each other anymore.  In just a few short years we literally grew apart.

Donita:

I met Donita in junior high school and we immediately became kindred spirits! Our common interests were boys, music, and fashion. We’d talk on the phone for hours. I remember my dad getting so annoyed because we’d be on the phone almost every night talking with each other. This was back when we used home phones, and of course, the phone was attached to the wall. I’d lay on the floor in the living room and stretch the cord across the room. My dad would complain that I stretched the cord out of shape, that I was always on the phone, and that nobody else could get through. Back then, home phones would just give a busy signal if you were already on the phone and someone else tried to call. Eventually, I did get a phone installed in my room but we still had only one telephone line.

My favorite memories with Donita were spending the night at each other’s houses, hanging out with our junior high friends, and when she came with my family and me on a vacation to Indiana Beach in 1968. It was here that I got to fly in an old open-cockpit Fairchild PT-19 warbird. The pilot’s name was Mike and I only know that because that’s what I wrote on the back of the photo. I was thinking it was my sister, Joyce, who set up the flight for me as she had started working for Sky Harbor at Eagle Creek Airpark in Indianapolis, in 1968, but she doesn’t recall doing this. So I’m not exactly sure how this came to be, but I think it was my first flight in an airplane, and it was fun! Joyce did take me flying two or three times while she worked at Sky Harbor from 1968 to 1973 (and I worked there from 1977 to 1986) but I don’t have photos so I’m not exactly sure when and in what aircraft we were in, although I suspect they were mostly Cessnas. I do remember coming dangerously close to the active propeller on one occasion. I exited the aircraft for some reason, which I don’t recall now, and was unaware of how close I had come to the propeller until I got back into the aircraft. Joyce told me she nearly fainted when she saw me walk so near it. I was not a Christian at this time in my life but I believe that God, knowing that one day I would be,  protected me that day.

During our freshman year of school, Donita told me that due to her dad’s job she had to move to Georgia. We cried for hours. We kept in touch by writing letters to each other for the first few years.  Then, when I graduated from high school, I arranged to meet her at the Atlanta airport one day on a stopover on my way to Florida.

As the years went by, we lost touch. I thought of her often, and then in 2009, I remembered a picture that she had sent me of her baby girl, and it had her name written on the back of it. I did a Facebook search and found her daughter, Gina, who gave me Donita’s email address.  We connected again, and I got to visit her, but this time we met for lunch in Lawrenceville, a suburb of Atlanta, while Harold and I were on a road trip. It was so good to see her again and to be back in contact, after so many years.

Donita passed away April 11, 2024. I mourned the passing of my old friend; I missed the Donita I knew when we were young and the person she had become. I regret not taking time to visit her more in my adult years. I re-read the letters I had saved and with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I decided to send them to her daughter, Gina. I shipped them in a lavender flowered box with some photos and a book of Bible promises.

Penny:

Penny and I also met in junior high. Our common interests were shopping, Janis Joplin, rock bands, and boys. I don’t know how, but somehow we managed to not get into too much trouble during our junior high years. One night we took her brother’s car out for a drive (she drove, not me) and we were probably only 14 years old. We loved going to parties, singing Janis Joplin songs, hanging out with friends, and dancing at Sherwood Country Club. We also went to some rock concerts together: Three Dog Night, Chicago, and Iron Butterfly.

Penny and me in 1969 in Chicago with my brother Ron, who had just graduated from Naval training.

At Indiana Beach, summer 1969.

In a crowded photo booth sometime in junior high school.

Here we are at my cousin’s wedding in 1969. I brought Penny with me and we sat in the second row. My grandma and grandpa, my little cousin Todd, and my Uncle Bill are in the first row. My cousin, Connie, told me years later that Penny was her official “wedding crasher.” LOL

In a crowded photo booth in 1968 or 1969, and at our 40th high school reunion in 2012.

Here we are at our 50th high school reunion in October 2022: Penny, Annette, and me.

“…There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

I remember the first time I read this verse, I assumed that it referred to friends and wondered if I ever really had a friend like that. Later I learned that the “friend” in this verse actually refers to Jesus. This makes perfect sense, as friends do come and go, but Jesus has long been my closest friend.

It’s also interesting how you can hear or read a Bible verse several times and then it’s as if you’re hearing it for the first time. In the late 1980s, I remember hearing this next verse in a sermon and it really caught my attention. Interestingly, it’s the first half of Proverbs 18:24.

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…”Proverbs 18:24

I’ve often thought about that verse over the years, as throughout most of my life, friendships have been difficult for me. First of all, as an adult, I think it’s easy to get out of the practice of friendship. It’s easy with the busyness of life, kids, work, etc., and also for as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable around people.  I enjoy people but I’m really more comfortable by myself. In retrospect, I think that God has used that to help me draw closer to Him, which, of course, is wonderful, but at the same time, I realize that having friends is good too.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

So, I need to be continually reminded to stay in the game; to serve and to return the ball whenever it lands in my court; to seek common interests with others and to take time to invest in friendships. This goes for anyone who finds themselves with similar feelings. I’ll close with this quote from C. S. Lewis:

Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, “What! You too? I thought that I was the only one!”