It’s hard to write about my mom. I feel like words can’t even begin to describe how good of a mother she was or how much I loved her.

I remember she used to say to me, “Pretty is as pretty does,” but I was so young; I didn’t know what it meant.

My mom was born in Illinois in 1921 and was given the name “Sarah Katherine” but at some point, she changed the spelling to “Sara Kathryn.” During this time it was common to be born at home. My grandmother gave birth to all four of her children at home. My mother, her second child, along with her sister and two brothers, grew up during the Great Depression of 1929. She told me that during this time they were so poor that all they would get for Christmas was an orange and maybe a homemade toy or a doll.

Mom with her baby sister, Naomi, and older brother David:

Mom with her sister, Naomi, and younger brother, Ralph, and their billy goat:

They moved to Indiana sometime during her childhood and she graduated from high school in 1938.

It was there at Cloverdale High School that she met my dad. They fell in love and got married in 1941, three years after they graduated from high school.

They had six kids, of which I was the 5th!

Mom and me, Easter 1956 🙂

Growing up I remember she babysat a lot of kids; some for weeks at a time. People would come pick up their kids, and not even pay her because they didn’t have enough money. I remember one summer she watched three or four kids from one family for the whole summer and when the dad came to pick them up, he only gave her $20.

My mom would kneel at her bed at night to pray and get up early in the morning to read her Bible. I remember when we lived on Hickory Lane in Indianapolis she would sit alone reading her Bible in our tiny kitchen nook. It was a cute little nook, with yellow ruffled window curtains, filled with the smell of black coffee. If any of us kids got up too early, she would tell us to go back to bed! I remember one morning in particular, I stood there watching her and wanting her attention, so I said something mean to try to get it. It worked, but not in the way I had wanted. It would be years later before I would understand why she needed that quiet time with the Lord.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30.

My mom worked hard taking care of us and all of the kids she babysat. I remember piles of laundry in the basement and wondering how there could be so much of it. She’d be exhausted just from looking after all of us, let alone trying to keep the house clean and keep up with the laundry. Once she sat down to watch TV or rest, she usually fell asleep from exhaustion. She used to jokingly say that her eyelids were attached to her knees, so, whenever she sat down, her eyelids would close!

My mom took pride in making her dollar stretch. She’d buy a gallon of whole milk and then mix it with powdered milk to make two gallons.  She’d also go to two or three different grocery stores each week just to get the best prices, using store coupons at each one. 

She was also a great cook and could always find something in our pantry or in the freezer to put a meal together. My dad worked at White Castle as an office supervisor, and would bring home boxes of slightly outdated frozen White Castle hamburger patties. My mom would then make all sorts of different meals out of them; basically anything that called for ground beef. She could make something out of almost anything and it always tasted good. All except liver and onions. I’d skip that and settle for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. Actually one of my favorite snacks was one of my mom’s favorites, a banana with peanut butter.

The house I grew up in, 675 Hickory Lane.

Mom in the 1940s and 1950s.

Mom in the 1970s and 1980s.

My Mom was a lot like her mom, my grandma. Some of my favorite memories were of us going to my grandma’s house for family dinners. My grandma made the best rhubarb pie in the world!  My grandma used to tell me that she prayed for me. I’m so thankful for her and her prayers. I wasn’t exactly the perfect child, but my grandma loved me unconditionally. There wasn’t anything I could do or say to make her not love me. She made a difference in my life and in the lives of so many people she came in contact with.

Me, my grandma, and my mom in 1979 in Indianapolis.

Likewise my mom was always thinking of others. She had compassion and love for hurting people, and for people in need. I remember her making sandwiches and handing them out to strangers in need. She treated them with love and respect. She had such a gentle, sweet, compassionate, and giving spirit. She had the love of Jesus in her heart and cared about the needs of others.

When we all grew up and had families of our own, she made sure that each of her children and grandchildren knew how much she loved us. She was always looking forward to our next family get-together.  She would do anything and everything she could for anyone of us.

Christmas 1986 in Mom’s basement on McFarland Rd: holding Megan and Allison, with me, and holding Megan, Michelle, Sarah, Matt, and Allison.

She lived the last 20 years of her life as a widow and at some point during this time she wrote this note, “To All My Children.” “My one hope in life—and my dying wish is for all my children and my loved ones to give their lives to Christ Jesus. In Him is our only hope of being together forever, and for eternal life.” My mother loved the Lord and her family. She spent the last 10 years of her life suffering from the effects of early onset Alzheimer’s. After she could no longer stay in her own home, she went to live in a care facility near my sister, Joyce, in St. Louis.

Family photos while in St. Louis, Missouri.

She also came to stay with me for several extended visits in Florida, California, and Texas, and then stayed in a Texas care facility near me for several months for part of those latter years.

Mom with me, Harold, Michelle, and Megan in Denton, Texas.

By January of 1998, she was living in a care facility near my brother, Dennis, in Oaktown, Indiana.  Wheelchair bound, our family gathered altogether in Vincennes, Indiana, to be with her. The ravages of Alzheimer’s had run its course and she could no longer smile, walk, or talk.

My mom passed away on September 15, 1998, at the age of 77. My sister, Joyce, and brother, Dennis, and I gathered to be with her on that day. I brought my Bible and read Psalm 23 to her and prayed out loud. We held her hands as her soul passed on to be with the Lord.

“So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.”   2 Corinthians 5:6-8

My mom was a pretty lady by any standards, but it was her beauty that radiated from within that will be her legacy. She lived her life with love and in service to God, her family, and to those she saw in need. And while I didn’t understand it as a child, I eventually came to learn the meaning of “Pretty is as pretty does,” because of my mom and the way she lived her life.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Some favorite moments with my mom: Christmas 1981, with me and one-month-old Michelle; me & Mom circa 1979; and with Harold, me, and Megan in 1987 at Disney World. Michelle was our photographer!