On Saturday, March 15, 2025, my husband Harold and I visited Honolulu, Oahu, which was actually our 4th time here. We visited Honolulu 3 times in the 1990’s-2000’s, back when I worked for Delta Air Lines. I learned back then that Waikiki is really just a big city in the middle of “paradise” and full of people in need.
On this visit I was once again struck with the sight of so many hurting people set against the backdrop of the beauty of Waikiki Beach. My mind flashed back to the last time we were here years ago, when I noticed what looked to be a prostitute pushing a toddler in a stroller, and an abundance of people walking around dazed and confused, likely on drugs and/or alcohol.
This visit wasn’t much different.
While waiting for our bus to Waikiki Beach a man came up to Harold and me (and another couple) begging us to let him take the 4 of us to Waikiki for only $10. He looked rough and I immediately sensed he was on drugs. When we each politely declined he suddenly began violently cursing at us. He walked away angry and cursing. It was pretty intense.
When we got to Waikiki Beach, there was a woman out in the middle of the street who was screaming obscenities at a man who was walking away from her as fast as he could. He initially ignored her for the most part but then he stopped, turned around and started screaming obscenities back at her, all within earshot of walkers-by including young children. It was quite a scene.
When we walked over to the public restroom, which was connected to the Waikiki Beach Police Department, there was what looked to be an elderly homeless man lying on the ground shaking. He was within 25 feet of the police department. Then we saw a young woman sitting outside of the police station smoking marijuana. She was very pretty, looked healthy and young, and she did not appear to be homeless.
I found the condition of the ladies restroom so repugnant I nearly got sick just being there a minute or two. It was the filthiest restroom I have ever been in my entire life. I walked over to talk to someone at the police station but the door was locked. There was an intercom but the man who answered the intercom was of no help.
We managed to get in a short visit at the beach and a few photos, but didn’t stay long. We left, thinking about what the ravages of sin has done to so many people, in the middle of the beauty, in the middle of “paradise,” in the middle of Waikiki Beach.
To be honest, I was afraid to accept that man’s offer to drive us to Waikiki Beach. I feared if we got in his car he would pull a gun on us, or that his car interior might have traces of fentanyl in it.
I was afraid to look into that woman’s eyes who was screaming obscenities on the street for fear of her walking up to me and attacking me.
I was afraid to try to help the elderly man lying on the ground by the police station for fear he might be sick with something contagious.
I was afraid to say anything to the young woman smoking marijuana just outside of the police department for fear of what she might say or do to me.
But,
I’m not afraid to write about it, and to pray for God to help these people with their addictions and with their anger; and to bless them with the gift of repentance and faith in Him, before it’s too late.
For the wages of sin is death, but, the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
True paradise is not found at Waikiki Beach, or any beach for that matter. It is found only at the end of our life on earth to those who have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.
To the thief who trusted in Jesus at the cross,
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43
While eating lunch on one of our recent cruises I overheard a buffet worker talking with a guest as she was gathering up the dirty dishes from a nearby table. Her English was pretty good (most of the workers are foreigners) but what caught my attention was that she was spewing out the Lord’s name carelessly (and excessively) as she was talking about something they had in common. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that she must have said His name around 10 or 15 times in the course of 1 or 2 minutes. She was smiling and being very friendly but obviously had no idea she was taking the Lord’s name in vain, and for no good purpose; it was insanely repetitive and disrespectful. Not just to me or any nearby Christians, but to God.
I thought to myself that if she comes near our table that maybe I could strike up a conversation with her and then mention it politely to her that she was taking the Lord’s name in vain, and then ask her if she knew this was against one of the 10 Commandments. So as I was eating, I grabbed my iPhone and looked up the chapter and verse I wanted to share with her, and to use it as a reference:
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. Exodus 20:7
After I finished copying the verse onto my notepad, I looked up but I didn’t see her anywhere. So then, I contemplated that when I saw her again that maybe I would just get up and go over to her to say something to her.
I never saw her again.
I left a little duck and a Living Waters 10 Commandments Coin on the table, hoping that she would be the one to clean our table, but I’ll never know for sure. In retrospect I wish I would have just gotten up and walked over to talk to her while she was still there, but I didn’t. I could have handed her the 10 Commandments Coin in person and pointed out the third Commandment to her, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I think of that in the first place? Probably because it’s much easier to leave some type of an evangelical message for random people to pick up than it is to actually walk up and speak to people in person. Ya think?
So, throughout the rest of that cruise and also the next one, I became a little extra sensitive in overhearing random people in different settings taking the name of the Lord in vain. Random people, casually throwing the name of our Lord around in common catch phrases, like “Oh my …” and “Oh …,” etc., although it wasn’t in repetitive excess like that buffet worker.
And to be clear, this wasn’t the first time I’ve been sensitive about people taking the Lord’s name in vain. I’ve been sensitive to this ever since becoming a follower of Christ and learning that it’s a serious offense that God doesn’t take lightly.
I used to say His name in vain without a blink of an eye,
But,
He changed me from inside out when He saved me by His amazing grace many years ago. I know, as a Christian, that God’s name should only be used with reverence and love. Throughout the Bible the names of the Lord God are clearly presented as Holy, precious, and powerful. Those who misuse His name in trite conversation and in blasphemous anger greatly misunderstand His greatness and glory.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness. Psalm 29:2
In Exodus 3:14 He chose to reveal His name to Moses as “I Am Who I Am” declaring His sovereignty, His self-sufficiency, and the fact that He is self-existent.
In Exodus 34:6 He chose to reveal His glory to Moses by revealing His name to him: “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious.”
So, did I ever get around to saying anything to those people taking His name in vain on these cruises? No I did not, but, I am praying for God to give me more opportunities in the future and in His perfect timing. I pray for boldness, sensitivity, clarity, discernment, and strength to speak up when given the opportunity, and also for more creative ways to share the gospel and His word.
And, in the meantime I’m doing what I often do when something weighs on my mind: I’m writing about it. Writing ✍🏻 is so much easier….
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe. Proverbs 18:10
Some photos from our January and February 2025 cruises. We cruised 14 days on 3 cruises on 2 different ships, out of Cape Canaveral and Jacksonville, Florida. Our destinations were all in the Bahamas: Freeport, Nassau, Bimini, and Princess Cays. We had already visited Freeport on 3 previous cruises but this was our first visit to Bimini, and to Princess Cays. It was also our first visit to Nassau on the January cruise and then we got to stop there two more times in February. Truth be told, no matter where we go, Harold and I really would be happy just cruising, relaxing, and enjoying the views and the food. Harold and I are incredibly thankful to be able to enjoy our retirement years together. Lord willing, we have several more cruises planned this year.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:1 -5
When our youngest daughter was around 6 years old I was convicted to change the way our family talked about Santa. I began emphasizing to her that Santa is for fun, but Jesus is for real.
For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
That year our daughter eagerly shared this matter-of-fact information with a few of her first grade classmates at school one day. Apparently that didn’t sit well with the mother of at least one of her classmates, who interestingly attended the same church as we did at that time. I heard about it through the grapevine, so to speak; actually it was one day while at church. One of the ladies in my Sunday School class let me know about it. She told me that the mother of this little boy was not happy with Mackenzie or me. It was an interesting moment, to say the least. We no longer attend that church, but not for this reason.
She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. Matthew 1:18-23
I realized back in the early 2000’s, that teaching my young daughter that Santa is for fun but Jesus is for real was was in direct opposition to what was considered widely accepted and traditional Christmas norms of the day, which was to basically tell a “white lie” to our children about Santa. I, like most of us, have fond memories of childhood Christmases which included the mystery of Santa Claus. In fact, I continued that tradition with our first two daughters, who are 15 and 11 years older than our youngest daughter, but as I matured and grew as a Christian I became increasingly uncomfortable with this tradition. In particular I was (and still am) very uncomfortable with the use of the word “believe” used in any reference to “Santa” and also the word “magic” as used in the phrase, “the magic of Christmas.”
I thought a lot about this and asked myself, why would we, as Christian parents, expect our children to believe in Jesus Christ, after years of perpetuating a “white lie” about Santa Claus while they were a young child, and especially during Christmastime!?
To be perfectly clear, I’m ok with the legend of Santa Claus and the connection with St Nickolas, but I am not ok with perpetuating the “white lie” of telling young children that Santa Claus is real.
“Bah humbug!” Some may say, but truth be told, a “white lie” is still a lie. The Bible is full of warnings about lying.
Jesus said, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44
The fact is, Jesus was born, to save sinners like me and like you. Jesus is real and sin is serious business. Sin has been around since Adam and Eve began their conversation with the serpent in the Garden of Eden.
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” Genesis 3:1
It’s a big problem. Actually, it’s a huge problem; what began in the Garden of Eden has infiltrated every aspect of life here on earth. The truth is, if you never see yourself as a sinner in need of a Savior, you will die in your sins one day and spend eternity separated from God, and that’s putting it gently.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6,
And, unless you have humbled your heart, acknowledged your sin, and turned to Him in repentance and faith in Him alone, the “merry” in your “Christmas” is coming to an abrupt end one day and it won’t be pretty or nice. No amount of good intentions or good works will grant you a “get out of hell” card.
And while, good works may be a sign of salvation, the process of becoming saved has nothing to do with being “good” or doing “good things.” Salvation is by grace through faith in God. Similarly, obedience is not required for salvation, it’s a result of salvation.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10
Or, whether you’re “naughty or nice.”
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23.
Salvation has everything to do with the One who took our place on the cross and paid our sin debt in full. He made a way. He who was born and who died so….
that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” John 3:15-21
A few years ago my little brother started calling me almost everyday. It was usually around 1:00 p.m. Dallas time and 11:00 a.m. Seattle time. That was when The Price is Right was over, which was one of his favorite shows. I think he got a kick out of me being a contestant on The Price is Right in 2005, so that’s probably why he thought of me when he’d watch it. Harold and I would try to catch The Price is Right as often as we could so we could talk about the show when Dougie called. We’d talk about who won a car, who overbid, when someone won both showcases, or when they both lost! Sometimes when he called I was busy so he’d leave me a voicemail but would still call me back later if I didn’t get right back with him. I have several voicemails saved on my phone from him:
“This is Doug. Bye for now.”
ALL of his phone messages were pretty much just like this. Actually, since his passing on November 19, 2024, listening to some of his messages again has brought me a fresh perspective on the hope of the resurrection.
Although he was mentally disabled since birth, Dougie believed in Jesus. He enjoyed going to Sunday School, church, and Vacation Bible School as a child, and attended church well into his adulthood with mom until she was no longer able to take him due to her illness. He had a childlike faith and was “forever young.”
Dad, me, Eldon, Denny, Joyce, Dougie, Ronnie, & Mom. Our family Christmas card, 1960. Dougie and Dad at home in the 1970’sDougie and Mom in the early 1980’s.Dougie and Mom in 1988. Mom and Dougie in 1991.
“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14
Dougie also knew right from wrong. One day back in the 1980’s he came up to me, upset with himself about telling a lie. His humility was so genuine. We prayed about it together, in faith, asking for Jesus’ forgiveness.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
I look forward to seeing my little brother again one day in heaven, but for now his soul is with Jesus.
So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8
Because,
Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25
The Bible has a lot to say about the promise of the resurrection.
I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you… that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures. 1 Corinthians 15:1-4
Christ has indeed been raised, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 1 Corinthians 15:20-22
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1 Peter 1:3
Our resurrected bodies will be spiritual, imperishable, and raised in glory and power. Resurrected bodies will never experience sickness, decay, deterioration, or death.
The last couple of times I saw Dougie was in May and June 2024.
Debbie, Dougie, and me at a downtown Burien, Washington restaurant. Dougie and me at Angle Lake Park, May 27, 2024.
Harold and I visited Dougie and my niece, Debbie, in May 2024 on our way to an Alaskan cruise to celebrate Harold’s 76th birthday. We had lunch together at a downtown Burien, Washington restaurant, and then we took Dougie to Angle Lake Park later that day and sat and watched the children play. He enjoyed watching them run around the water spray, having fun, and hearing them laugh.
I gave Dougie a 1988 picture of him and Mom. His eyes lit up and a big smile emerged as soon as he saw it! May 26, 2024.
My niece was Dougie’s caregiver for 28 years and I believe he was very happy with the life and the home that Debbie provided for him. He had a wonderful, happy disposition! I also believe it was part of God’s plan for my niece to be his caregiver. She grew up loving him as her uncle and ended up loving him like a son. He was a special blessing to everyone in our family and to the many who knew and loved him.
Harold, Dougie, and me in downtown Burien, June 4, 2024
Harold and I returned to Seattle after the cruise on June 4, and visited with Dougie in downtown Burien. I gave him a warm beanie from Alaska in anticipation of the cold weather this coming winter, not knowing at the time that Dougie would not be going through another Seattle winter.
Dougie wanted to go to his favorite nearby restaurant, The Little Chicken Burger, so we walked over to it. The picture of us at this restaurant is the last picture that Dougie and I got together, and the last day that I saw him in person.
I last talked to him on the phone on Monday, November 18, the anniversary date of our dad’s passing. Dougie passed away the next day, Tuesday November 19, 2024. According to the doctor, he passed away approximately 10:00 a.m. likely due to a sudden heart attack or blood clot.
My little brother, mentally disabled since birth, was actually very wise. He left me several messages reminding me that because of our relationship with Jesus, our parting was only temporary and that we will see each other again in the future:
My husband and I enjoyed a Caribbean cruise this month in celebration of my 70th birthday. We visited Mahogany Bay Roatan Honduras, Costa Maya Mexico, and Puerto Maya Cozumel Mexico.
We enjoy cruising and are hoping to go as often as we can, now that we’re both retired. The ship on this cruise was the Carnival Jubilee. It’s Carnival’s newest and largest ship, and is based out of the Port of Galveston. The passenger capacity is well over 6500 and although I heard the ship was not full on this cruise, it was packed wall to wall with cruisers.
Out of all those people, there were two of them in particular that caught my attention and brought smiles to my heart. The first one was a lady named Stacy. She was probably in her 50’s or 60’s and was traveling with a large family group. We first met on our van ride over to the seaport from the cruise parking lot. We saw each other often throughout the 7-day cruise and enjoyed talking with one another. Stacy was like a ray of sunshine, always smiling, and quite friendly. Her family, in particular her sister, was very attentive and caring about Stacy and I admired her for that. Stacy was intellectually disabled.
The other person was named Reece. He too was always smiling and very friendly; young, probably in his early to mid 20’s, and very outgoing! He too had some type of intellectual disability but he didn’t let that stop him from meeting people, participating with many of the group activities, dancing, and interacting with the cruise director. Unlike Stacy, who was always surrounded by family, Reece was out and about by himself every time I saw him. Now, his family may have been nearby watching him from afar, but he definitely was quite independent. The first time we met was on an elevator ride and as usual, he was all by himself. I immediately recognized him and started up a conversation. His eyes lit up with joy when Harold and I told him that we saw him dancing with the cruise director earlier. I told him he was a good dancer! He smiled from ear to ear!
Now since being back home from our cruise, I heard a snippet of a radio program in which someone was saying that Iceland has infamously become known as the first country to claim that no one gives birth to a child with Down’s syndrome there. Apparently they’re very proud of the fact that they have aggressively and intentionally pursued prenatal testing and subsequent abortions.
After hearing that on the radio, I’ve since learned that isn’t actually true. Iceland doesn’t have a zero incidence of Down syndrome births. They just like to claim that they do. There are still some Down syndrome children born in Iceland but the numbers are dwindling.
Somehow this all put me in mind of Nazi Germany’s Holocaust; the slaughter of approximately 6 million Jews, and approximately 5 million other people groups including the disabled.
How is it that a person, or a group of people, think that they have the right to dispose of people they dislike, who don’t look like them, don’t act like them, or because they’re disabled in some way?
When I think of all of the joy I’ve had in my life from my younger brother, Dougie, who is intellectually disabled,
My brother Dougie! 💙
And our daughter Megan, who is physically disabled from being born with Spina Bifida.
Our daughter Megan! ❤️
And, our sweet 3 year old granddaughter, Remi, who has Down syndrome,
Our granddaughter, Remi! 💖
I feel sorry for people who don’t know that kind of joy, and that kind of love. They’re not only a blessing to me. They’re each a blessing to so many others and in so many ways.
Each and everyone of us are uniquely planned by God.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book and planned beforehand to the end.” Psalm 139:16
God forms us in our mother’s womb.
This is what the Lord says—He who made you, who formed you in the womb. (Isaiah 44:2)
Each and everyone of us are made in the image of God, including the ones you may dislike, who don’t look like you, don’t act like you, have some type of disability, or a mother who doesn’t want them.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27
God is sovereign.
The Bible says, “His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of every human being” (Job 12:10).
God cares so very deeply for each and everyone of us, including the ones you may not like, who don’t look like you, don’t act like you, have some type of disability, or a mother who doesn’t want them.
God is the author of life.
“Your hands shaped me and made me . . . Did You not clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave me life.” (Job 10:8–12)
Finally, as the giver of life, God is also the authority on death. He commands us not to take the life of an innocent person: “Do not shed innocent blood” (Jeremiah 7:6.)
“There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” Proverbs 6:16.
I’ve never been much of an Olympics fan, but there are a few things I will remember about the 2024 Paris Summer Olympics. Actually it’s probably better described in a range of emotions.
I was disgusted (but not surprised) with the opening ceremony. The debauchery and blasphemy was overt. I didn’t intentionally watch it but caught a few glimpses of it while my husband had the TV on. He’s a huge sports fan but doesn’t care about the opening ceremony.
I laughed at my husband as he cheered for USA basketball, track, and swimming teams. Whenever they won, he’d jump up off the couch and run around the house waiving the American flag shouting, “USA! USA! USA!” It was enthusiasm overload combined with his need to get up off of the couch and do some exercise!
A feeling of sorrow for the athletes who were simply there to compete in their individual sport but were overshadowed by the Olympic committee’s woke agenda.
And, a feeling of joy for the one girl who stood out among all of the rest: Sydney McLaughlin. She set a new world record and received the gold medal in the women’s 400-meter hurdles. Afterwards she boldly stated, “Records come and go, the glory of God is eternal.” and “I no longer run for self-recognition, but to reflect His perfect will that is already set in stone. I don’t deserve anything. But by grace, through faith, Jesus has given me everything.”
Her faith and her words reminded me of another Olympian, who also stood out among all of the rest, except it was a long time ago; 100 years ago to be exact. His name was Eric Liddell (pronounced “little.”) He competed in the 1924 Summer Olympics Games in Paris.
Eric was born in China in 1902 where his parents were both Scottish missionaries with the London Mission Society. As a youth Eric attended boarding school near London with his brother. They returned to Edinburgh, Scotland to be with their family as often as possible. Eric attended Edinburgh University, played on the Rugby team, trained to race in the Olympics, and was a young man of integrity and of devout faith. He refused to run or play sports on Sundays, the Lord’s Day.
Eric had decided months before the 2024 Olympic Games that he would not participate in any races that were on Sunday. His favorite race was the 100-meter race, however upon learning that the 100-meter heats were scheduled to be on a Sunday he simply withdrew his longing to run in the 100-meter race and set his sights on two other races. He decided to compete in the 200-meter race and also to train for the 400-meter race, all while studying in his last year in college and while teaching at his church. His schedule was so full he decided that he needed to drop something. That something was Rugby.
When he went to the 1924 Summer Olympics in Paris, he held true to his convictions. He did not compete in his favorite race, the 100-meter race, and instead, ran and placed third in the 200-meter race and won a bronze medal for Scotland! He then took everyone by surprise by placing first in the 400-meter and winning the gold medal for Scotland!
“I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” #EricLiddell
A year after competing in the Olympics, at age 23, Eric went back to China where he served as a missionary teacher for Chinese boys for approximately 20 years. He was captured and put in a Japanese civilian internment camp, fell ill and passed away in 1925. It was reported that while he was in the internment camp, he ministered to others up until his death.
Years later, His widow Florence recalled that “Eric always said that the great thing for him was that when he stood by his principles and refused to run in the 100-metres, he found that the 400-metres was really his race. He said he would never have known that otherwise. He would never have dreamed of trying the 400 at the Olympics.”
Eric Liddell’s life story was beautifully told in the 1981 Oscar winning film, Chariots of Fire.
The truth is, as Christian’s we’re all called to run the race that God has set before us.
Eric Liddell most certainly ran the race that was set before him and I’m not necessarily referring to his Olympic feats. I’m referring to the race of a life well lived for Christ.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1
Seriously. My husband keeps four rubber ducks on the dashboard of his 2018 Jeep Wrangler. I straighten them up in a row every time I get in his Jeep.
I like things to be straight.
If a picture is hanging up on a wall and it needs to be straightened, I straighten it; no matter whose picture it is or whose wall it’s on.
I like colors to coordinate.
When decorating, I pick a main color and specific coordinating colors, and run with it. No exceptions! If it doesn’t match, it’s a no.
I like things to look equal or balanced.
If I trim one fingernail due to a nail breakage, I trim the others to match the one.
I could go on and on but I think it’s safe to say I’m a bit of a perfectionist.
I’ve known this about myself for years and believe all of the above are harmless expressions of autonomy. As a child abuse survivor, living in some out-of-control situations as a child, expressing myself in this way is a relatively “safe” form of autonomy as an adult.
Safe, when it’s confined to personal preferences such as what I listed above, and I also think it could be an asset in artistic endeavors.
Not-so-safe, when perfectionism spills over into personal expectations that are unrealistic or too high; being overly critical of yourself or others; or when it leads to real life obsessive compulsive disorders or depression.
Over the years, God has helped “reign me in” whenever I’ve experienced the occasional unrealistic expectation and during periods of having overly critical feelings about myself or others in my life.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
Fast forward to today, I’m two weeks post-op from having reconstructive nose surgery. Just a few days before the reconstructive surgery I had Mohs surgery to remove a basel cell skin cancer. The Mohs surgery went five rounds and left a big whole on the tip of my nose. It all happened so fast and came as quite a surprise.
It’s early in my healing process. My nose is still healing and I have several months before the scars fade. I really think the reconstructive surgeon did a good job, especially given what he had to work with. However, I can already see that my nose has some asymmetry about it. In other words, it’s not perfect (says the perfectionist in me) but, News Flash: it never was.
Thankfully, as a Christ follower, I can rest in knowing that as imperfect as I have always been, I’m perfect in God’s eyes, and it has nothing to do with my outward appearance and everything to do with my relationship with Jesus. God see’s me through His Son, the author and perfecter of my faith.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-3
I’m fixing my eyes on Jesus, no matter what life sends my way. Life is not perfect. However, a Christian’s life should be different from non believers. Not perfect; no, we’ll never be perfect this side of heaven, but we are called to live a changed life. A changed life that increasingly demonstrates that He is our strength and our power, no matter what.
God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33
I’m thankful the cancer is gone and for skilled reconstructive plastic surgeons. I’m thankful for family and friends who prayed and cared about me; but most of all I’m thankful for my Savior who many years ago “sought me, and bought me with His redeeming love.”
God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30
“Tulum? Where’s Tulum?” Ha! That was me, the first time I ever heard of Tulum, Mexico. It was the day our oldest daughter, Michelle and her fiancé Marty, told us that they wanted to get married in Tulum!
Let me back up a bit. Michelle and Marty met in 2017 and began dating. The first time I met Marty he reminded me a little bit of Harold. He’s tall, outgoing, and has huge sense of humor. So it was no surprise approximately a year and a half later when he asked for Harold’s blessing on his proposal of marriage to Michelle. Actually, I believe he first asked our grandsons, Colby and Gabriel, then Harold. What was the surprise, was Tulum!
I soon learned that Tulum, in the last 10 years or so, has become one of the most popular tourist destinations in Mexico. It’s located in what’s known as heart the Rivera Maya region on the Caribbean Sea. More precisely, it’s on the eastern side of the Yucatan Peninsula, in the state of Quintana Roo.
This is where Michelle and Marty chose the beautiful Dreams Tulum Resort and Spa, complete with a wedding package and an all inclusive hotel package for the guests. Together, they planned every detail of their June 2019 wedding:
Thursday, June 27th – Welcome Party and Tequila Tasting
Friday, June 28th – Wedding & Reception (best day of our lives!)
Saturday, June 29th – Free day and/or Group Catamaran Cruise
Sunday, June 30th – Farewell Breakfast & Goodbyes XO
Actually, a few days prior to the big day, they had a private wedding ceremony at Marty’s hometown church, so that his elderly grandparents who couldn’t come to Mexico, could witness them marry. It was also an official wedding ceremony, as legally binding Mexican weddings require quite a bit of paperwork.
The Wednesday before the schedule of events were to begin, we flew into Cancun and took a shuttle to the hotel. We enjoyed the extra time in Tulum getting familiar with the resort and all of the amenities.
The Tulum wedding ceremony was simply beautiful. Set on the beach with a gentle breeze, Marty’s dad, Steve, officiated the ceremony.
The reception was also beautiful. Set inside a cleared outdoor area surrounded by tropical trees and greenery, we ate, laughed, and danced in the moonlight. We chose “Michelle” by The Beatles for Harold and Michelle’s Father/Daughter dance, as I used to sing it to her when she was a baby!
The following day we enjoyed a catamaran cruise on the ocean.
It was a such a memorable and wonderful time with family and friends.
It was a wedding in paradise!
And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But, the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
Harold would not likely ever write about himself, but I would!
Actually, he’s not much of a reader or a writer but he’s good at math. He can add up numbers in his head faster than I can find a calculator. I’m just the opposite; so goes the saying, opposites attract.
Fun fact: Harold lived the first part of his life as “Bernard,” which is actually his middle name, and that’s what his family and old friends still call him.
Growing up in Madison, Indiana in the late 1940’s, 50’s and 60’s he was the third child born to his parents, James and Mildred. His sister, Marilyn, (1943-2024) was five years older, and his brother, Kenny, is 2 years older than him. Kenny’s given name is actually James Kenneth, but just like his brother he went by his middle name.
One of Harold’s favorite childhood memories was when they’d go to the Friday night sprint and stock car races in nearby Kentucky. They went fairly often as it was just a short car ride over the Milton-Madison Bridge. It was there he began his lifelong love of car racing.
His favorite vacation memories were at Indiana Beach. They and several relatives from his mom’s side of the family would rent a large house on Lake Schaefer where they enjoyed fishing off the docks, riding the rides on the boardwalk, and swimming on the beach. They liked it so much they returned to Indiana Beach several years in a row.
He played school basketball and intramural basketball in grade school up through high school, either as a forward or center. He was tall so that worked out in his favor.
As a teenager he helped his uncles put up hay and tobacco, which was common work in rural southern Indiana. The tobacco work required several different steps: cutting and hanging, waiting for it to dry out, striping it, then tying it into bundles.
It was in his junior high school years that Harold first came to faith in Jesus Christ. He was baptized soon after at Madison Baptist church.
In his junior and senior year of high school he worked as a lot boy at Bennett Motors. Working at this car dealership was the beginning of what would later become one of his two main occupations in his life.
After graduating from Madison Consolidated High School in 1966, he married his high school girlfriend, Linda, in 1967. Their first child, Kimberly Ann, was born in 1967, and their second child, Kevin Harold, was born in 1970. Linda filed for divorce in 1975, they separated, and then reconciled. They separated again in 1976, she filed for divorce again in 1977, and it was finalized in early 1978.
During their 10 year marriage he worked installing terrazzo flooring and he also opened up his own flooring covering business. While installing terrazzo flooring he traveled to various job locations, including a large job in Homestead, Connecticut, where he stayed for several weeks. He also learned how to do tile installation while working with terrazzo flooring. After around 4 years of working for someone else he opened up his own flooring company, Crandell Floor Covering, on West 16th Street in Indianapolis.
Harold and I met in late September of 1976 while I was working at the airport Rodeway Inn. He was friends with the hotel manager and had been staying at the hotel due to the separation. The manager introduced us to each other one night while they were in The Library Lounge talking about the carpeting job he was doing for the hotel. We just so happened to see each other again later in the lobby hallway as I was getting off shift. He asked me if I was hungry and if I’d like to go nextdoor to Denny’s for breakfast. Actually, he likes to tell the story that it was me who asked him to go out to breakfast. I’m pretty sure it was the other way around, but he’s told that story for so many years now that he’s almost got me convinced that it was me who asked him!
Long story short, after a while we fell in love with each other. I was attracted to his heart, his humor, and his good looks. We married three and half years later on my mom and dad’s 41st wedding anniversary, March 15, 1980. We traveled to London, Paris, and Rome for our honeymoon.
At this time in our lives, Harold worked at a local car dealership, and I worked for Sky Harbor at Eagle Creek Airpark.
We lived in Indianapolis, first in a Westlake apartment and then in a double (duplex) that my mom owned on Harding Street. God blessed us with our first daughter, Michelle Nicole in 1981, and also our second daughter, Megan Renee in 1986.
Although Harold had closed his flooring company in 1977, he still had an interest in flooring. So, in the mid 1980’s we started up a small business of manufacturing carpet tack strips, aka tactless strips. We also sold floor installation supples. It was a short lived business, due to low profit margins, so we sold the equipment and Harold went back to work at a local car dealership. I worked at Sky Harbor Aviation and then American Trans Air during this time.
Kim and Kevin were very much a part of our lives back in the 1980’s. They came to our home on a regular basis and they both came to live with us for extended periods of time and at various times. We were a family of six and continued being a part of each other’s lives for several years after we moved away from Indianapolis. Sadly, our relationship deteriorated over the past few years to the point of estrangement; Kim first and then more recently Kevin.
We moved in 1988 from Indianapolis to Brandon, Florida. I wrote about this move in my story titled, “The Land That I Will Show You.” Harold worked at a local car dealership, and it was here I began working at Delta Air lines in their Tampa office in 1989.
In 1990 we moved to Torrance, California where I worked for Delta Air Lines in their Los Angeles office, and Harold worked at a local car dealership. I wrote about this move in my story titled, “The West Coast.”
In 1991, we moved to Orange Park, Florida where I worked for Delta Air Lines in their Jacksonville office, and Harold worked at a local car dealership. I wrote about this move in my story titled, “Johnny Walker.”
In 1993, we moved to Lewisville, Texas where I worked for Delta Air Lines in their Dallas office, and Harold once again worked for a local car dealership. I wrote about this move in my story titled, “Green Acres.” It was here that God both blessed and surprised us with our third daughter, Mackenzie Anne, in 1996.
We still call Texas home today. We moved from Lewisville to Krum to Denton within a 10 year period, and have been in our Denton home for over 20 years now. Some of our favorite family memories in Texas include vacations, holidays, and watching the grandkids grow up and play sports.
In 2003 Harold opened his own car sales lot and then a couple of years later he transitioned it into RV sales. I helped him in the RV business while still working for Delta Air Lines, and then more so after I retired from Delta in 2009. Each of our daughters, and Kevin, helped and/or worked for Harold in one way or another and at different times as well.
Megan first helped Harold open the Lewisville car lot and worked with him in the car sales business for around two years. She also helped him transition to RV sales in Denton. Michelle helped transport RV’s and even helped sell a couple of them. Mackenzie, who as a child said she’d never work in the RV business, ended up being very knowledgeable about RV’s and the RV business in general. She worked for us the longest, sold more RV’s than anyone, confidently ran the business while Harold and I were out of town, and stayed with us until the day we decided to close up the shop.
After a long and successful career in the car and RV sales business, Harold retired at the age of 75 in December of 2023. These days we’re enjoying retirement and are looking forward to whatever God has in store for us. We’re thankful for the gift of faith, the gift of family, and His providence and guidance in our lives throughout our years together. By the grace of God, we celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary on March 15, 2024. We’re still in love, and I’m still attracted to his heart, his humor, and his good looks.
And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
The 15th of March is somewhat of an interesting date in history. As the 74th day of the year on the Roman Republic calendar, March 15 became known as “The Ides of March.” According to this ancient calendar, March 15, was associated with several pagan observances and was also known as a date for settling debts. In addition, March 15 was the exact date in which Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. Caesar’s death played a role in the fall of the Roman Republic and subsequent rise of the Roman Empire.
Interestingly, March 15 has become a notable date in our family, and it has nothing to do with Ancient Rome, and everything to do with love and marriage.
Starting with my great great grandfather, Sylvester Anderson, who married my great great grandmother, Pauline Terhune, on March 15, 1866. Then….
My mom and dad, Sara and Herman Query got married March 15, 1941.
Then…
My husband Harold and I married on March 15, 1980.
And then….
Our daughter Megan became Mrs. John Williams on March 15, 2009. She and John met at Denton high school but didn’t start dating until after they both graduated. I remember when we first met John, Harold told him that he really liked banana splits. Banana Splits started appearing out of nowhere! The next thing I knew, John asked Harold for his permission to ask Megan to marry him.
Megan and John married in a beautiful traditional Christian wedding ceremony, held in the Cindy Nichols Chapel at First Baptist Church Denton, officiated by Pastor Brad Cockrell.
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9
Megan’s colors were black and white with a pop of hot pink! The men wore hot pink daisy boutonnières and black Converse tennis shoes. The reception was held in Sanger Texas, where we served a Texas style dinner, and danced to a variety of music, actually mostly country!
March 15!
Four weddings in our family on this same date.
So I think it’s safe to say that we have officially established a March family tradition. Our local newspaper even featured it in their 2009 Bride Guide!
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
Treasure In Jars of Clay 