It was a cold January morning in 1986 but I got up early and was excited to go to the hospital to have our second baby! Everything seemed to be going right on schedule. I had my suitcase packed, the house was clean, and the night before we had taken our 4-year-old, Michelle, over to my mom’s house to spend the night. So off to the hospital we went with my suitcase, purse, 35-mm camera, two rolls of film, and a heart full of excitement. On the way to the hospital I nervously loaded my camera with a roll of film. Three days later I discovered I’d loaded it wrong and didn’t get the first 36 pictures I thought we’d taken, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Mom met us at the hospital with Michelle. The doctor had told us in advance that they could both come sit in the labor and delivery room with me and Harold, so I was excited that they were going to be there too!

I had two sonograms while I was pregnant but the quality of sonograms wasn’t so great in 1985. They told us in the first sonogram that we were having a girl and in the second sonogram that we were having a boy. We figured the second one was the right one since it was the latest, so we were anticipating a baby boy.

A little over three hours later the doctor said, “It’s a girl!”  So much for that second sonogram! Ha! But having another girl meant we didn’t have to buy baby boy clothes. Besides, baby girl clothes are so much cuter than baby boy clothes (at least back then) and we already had plenty of baby girl clothes. After only a few moments of holding her they took her to the warming table. They wrapped her tight in a receiving blanket and I got to hold her again before they took her off to the nursery. She was a beautiful baby and I loved her immediately.

After a short time in recovery, I was taken to my room and  I was just about to doze off to sleep when the doctor came in. He had a team of doctors with him so I was a little surprised at that. He then proceeded to tell me that our daughter was born with spina bifida, actually a lipomyelomeningocele, which is a golf ball-sized fatty tumor that was attached to her spinal cord. He further explained that she’d probably have difficulty walking, problems with her bladder, and that she would need surgery soon, and maybe several surgeries down the road. I didn’t really grasp all that he was telling me; it was a lot to absorb.

Then, a couple of hours later, I got a phone call on the hospital room phone. It was the doctor’s office where I’d taken my mom earlier in the month. The nurse told me that all the test results were in and that, based on the tests, the doctor diagnosed my mom with Alzheimer’s Disease, and that it was incurable.

Within a matter of just a few hours, my world had been turned upside down. From the excitement of giving birth to the fear of what the future held for both my newborn daughter and for my mom, I layed awake all night, crying and praying. By the second night in the hospital, I still couldn’t sleep and I began to hallucinate; it was too much to handle, between the hormones, my newborn, my mom, and at this point I hadn’t slept for going on nearly 36 hours. I cried out for God to give me peace and for the nurse to give me something to help me fall asleep.

I recognized that I needed help; I needed God’s help; I needed prayer. I was so very distraught.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

I prayed and I prayed and then I began asking different people and prayer groups to pray for both my daughter and my mom. Up until this time in my life, I wasn’t in the habit of sharing my prayer requests. I was a private, independent person and this was a new experience for me. Looking back, I think I struggled with insecurity and worried too much about what other people might think. I remember thinking I didn’t want people to think of them as less than perfect. My daughter and mom were so precious to me, and I loved them so much, so I was more than willing to risk being vulnerable. I knew that I needed God’s help and that I needed God to help both my daughter and my mom.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

The next few years were filled with hospital and doctor visits, surgeries and clinics for our Megan, and at the same time my mother was fading away ever so slowly due to the ravages of Alzheimer’s Disease. My mom came to stay with us for extended periods of time when she was in the early stages of the disease, and in a care facility near us in the middle stages. Her sweet and gentle spirit was still with her during this time.

Through these years I learned that it was in these days of burden and prayer for my daughter and my mom that I drew closer to God. He gently drew me away from my self-dependence and taught me to be more dependent on Him. Even though I was a Christian, my natural bent was toward independence. God knew I needed to change and He was using this time to teach me to lean on Him instead.

“He uses difficulty to strengthen and correct believers, and eventually, as a tool in achieving His plan.” Dr. Charles Stanley

My mom passed away in 1998 after suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease for several years. It was hard to see her fade away to the point that she didn’t know who I was and had lost the ability to walk and talk. Her personality gone, long before her passing, made me miss my mom even while she was still alive. When it came time for her passing, it was so bittersweet. I was sad that the end of her life was nearing, but thankful in knowing she was going to be with Jesus and that she would soon be forever free from Alzheimer’s.

I thank God for helping me get through those difficult days and am thankful for all those who prayed for us during that time.

Mom & me, Mom & Megan, Mom & me, Me & Megan

In our daughter’s early years, we had a lot of support, a lot of good doctors and clinics, and many of her teachers would tell me what a great attitude she had. But the overall reality is that she has had a difficult life with spina bifida; it has taken its toll both physically and emotionally. Little did I realize how difficult her life would be as they wheeled her off to her first neurosurgery when she was barely a month old. I’ll never forget how, after that first surgery, her face was pale and shiny like a china doll as she lay on the hospital bed motionless. I thought for an instant that she didn’t make it; my heart stood still, but then the doctor assured us she was okay. She had a second and third neurosurgery at age 4, a fourth neurosurgery at age 5, and a fifth neurosurgery at age 16. And this was in addition to numerous clinic visits, tests, bladder procedures, physical therapy, foot surgeries and castings over the span of much of her childhood and teen years.

 

Megan at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and 12 months.

Megan at 4 days old, 2 months old with me, 18 months old with Michelle, and almost 2 years old with dad.

I’m thankful for all the prayers prayed for her and for God’s loving care over her over the years. As an adult with Spina Bifida, Megan continues to need prayer. She wears leg braces but gets around by wheelchair. She has chronic back pain, bladder and kidney infections, and various other spina bifida-related medical issues. Everyday, simple tasks that most people take for granted, like walking, bathing, house cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. are daily challenges for her. On top of all of this, and by the grace of God, she is also a wife to her husband John, and mother of their two children, Landon and Livia.

While many may wonder why God allows things like birth defects, disease, and suffering, the answer is found in the Bible. It was Adam and Eve’s sin that brought sickness, disease, death, and evil into the world. And while we may never be able to fully understand God and His ways, He wants us to pray and trust Him in all things. He is a loving, good, and merciful God who sent His only Son to pay the penalty for our sin, so that all who will believe in Him will have eternal life.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

In closing, I’m reminded of a day in 2017 while I was paying for gas at a Florida gas station. I noticed a sign by the register which said, “Have you played today?”

This was the state of Florida’s friendly reminder to buy lottery tickets. The lady ahead of me in line apparently didn’t need the reminder. I think she was there just to buy lottery tickets; 10 of this one, 15 of this one, etc. All the while, she and the girl at the register laughed and talked about all the things they’d do with the winnings. Then this thought crossed my mind: What if the letter “l” was changed to an “r”, and instead read, “Have you prayed today?”

I thought, what a difference that would make in everyone’s life. What a difference it’s made in mine.

“Men ought always to pray.” Luke 18:1

Megan and me together on our Alaskan cruise in 2018.