Mirrors

Mirrors-3

My husband and I are on the road a lot. I enjoy traveling and my husband enjoys being in the motor home business so that works out well for the both of us.

We buy a lot of motor homes and I often drive one too if we buy more than one motor home at a time. I’ll never forget a few of years ago I got on I-4 West in Florida driving a 36-foot motor home back home to Texas, when I suddenly realized I’d forgot to adjust the side mirrors! The right mirror was totally turned in and I couldn’t see the cars to the right of me at all. I quickly called my husband who was driving ahead of me, to have him look back and tell me if I could change lanes so I could exit and fix my mirrors.

That was my first (and hopefully last) mistake concerning my mirrors while driving a motor home. I’ve learned to trust and depend very much on those mirrors.

Mirrors are helpful in little things too. All through my grade school years I was extremely near-sighted and wore glasses. I remember on my 13th birthday, my parents, at the suggestion of my sister, Joyce, gave me the gift of hard contact lenses. I was so excited about not having to wear my old glasses anymore but was a little nervous about putting the contacts in my eyes. The eye doctor eased my fears by teaching me how to put them in using a small mirror. With that small mirror and a little bit of practice it wasn’t long before I was a pro at it.

So in January of 2018 I decided to read through the Bible, again. I think this was my third time of reading through the Bible. As usual, I learn and/or discover new insights each time I read the Bible. Even simple things. For example I don’t think I ever realized until the 2018 reading that the Ten Commandments are written down in both Exodus and Deuteronomy. It’s common actually for the Bible to repeat laws and various verses in the Bible and The Ten Commandments are certainly important enough to be repeated. So, it got me thinking about the Law.

The Law is actually like a mirror. Like a mirror, the Law helps us to see the “dirt and imperfections,” (aka the sin) in our lives.

Just as a mirror shows us what we really look like, the Law convicts us of our sin, and the only cure for the sin in our life is Jesus.

“Therefore the law was our tutor to bring usto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” Galatians 3:24

To be clear, the Law doesn’t save us. Only Jesus saves. But, the recognizing of our need to be saved, seeing the “the dirt and imperfections in the mirror” aka, the sin in our life, is a step to salvation.

“The recognition of sin is the beginning of salvation.” Martin Luther

So the Law makes us aware and convicts us of our sin.

Then,

Turning away from sin in repentance, and turning to Jesus Christ in faith, trusting in Him for the forgiveness of our sin. and believing that He is who He says He is, is what brings us into a right relationship with Christ.

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.” Mark 1:15

Something to think about the next time you look in the mirror.

Billy Graham

Billy GrahamSomeday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of God. #BillyGraham

In October of 2002, Billy Graham came to Dallas to speak in what was to be one of his last crusades, The Metroplex Mission, a four night event. Weeks before, our church was contacted by the BGEA to be one of the participation area churches. I attended the Billy Graham five-week training program at our church and volunteered to be a counselor at the Dallas Metroplex Mission crusade.

Part of the 5-week training program included bible verse memorization, which my oldest daughter, Michelle, helped me with. As a result, she memorized those bible verses too.  It was during this time I began praying for one of my husband’s friends who was in the hospital and was not expected to live. My daughter and I went to visit him in the ICU at the hospital where we found him on a ventilator and unable to talk. That gave us plenty of opportunity to do all the talking. So we shared some of the Bible verses from the BGEA training, went over the plan of salvation, and prayed out loud for him.

The next day, my daughter told me that she had been sharing the Bible verses with her boyfriend and that he’d been asking a lot of questions about becoming a Christian. I encouraged her to go over the plan of salvation with him as soon as God gave her the next opportunity, which came that very night. He received Christ as His Savior in response to the gospel. He started attending our church and began a one-on-one Bible study with his Sunday School teacher. He also came to the first night of the Metroplex Mission and came forward to make a public profession of faith.

On that first night of Mission Metroplex, Billy Graham, at age 83, spoke clearly about God’s love and His plan of salvation. One of the first girls that I spoke with was a 22 year old young lady who came forward to rededicate her life. She explained that she first came to know Christ at age 20 but that she had not been following Him the way she knew she should. I told her that when I was young, I did the same. I explained that I first came to faith in Christ at age 12 and then drifted away in my teens and early twenties. I mentioned that when I was her age I was working as a cocktail waitress and bartender and didn’t turn my life around until I was in my mid-twenties, a few days after hearing Billy Graham speak on TV. Her eyes opened wide and she looked shocked. She told me that she was currently working as a cocktail waitress and bartender. So, out of the over 2300 people that come forward to make a decision for Christ that night, God arranged for the two of us with a similar background, to connect and speak with each other. Amazing

Over the next few nights at Mission Metroplex I had the privilege of talking and praying for several more ladies. After it was over I came away with the understanding that Christians should always be ready to share our faith anytime, not just at a Billy Graham crusade.

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. 1 Peter 3:15

Concerning my husband’s friend who was in the hospital, he passed away within a few days of our visit. While I don’t know if he was able to hear us, or if he ever received Christ, I do know it was those same Bible verses and plan of salvation that we spoke to him about that my daughter shared with her boyfriend, who in turn responded by receiving Christ. A little over a year later, this young man died unexpectedly at age 24 and I believe he is in heaven today because he placed his trust in Jesus.

Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. James 4:15

On February 21, 2018,  I woke up to the news that Billy Graham had passed away at age 99. Billy Graham spent the bulk of his life preaching the the gospel and pointing millions and millions of people to Christ, one of which was me.

I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die. John 11:25

 

Another Gospel-2

In the spring of 1988 I moved from Indiana to Florida with our two young daughters to meet up with my husband who had moved there a few months ahead of us. I was a little anxious about moving away from everything that was familiar to me. Actually, I really didn’t want to move, but I’d prayed about it and was trusting in God that it’d all work out. We were pretty excited to move into an “almost” new home in Brandon, Florida, a suburb near Tampa. We leased it with an option to buy.

 

One of the first things I wanted to do was to find a new church. So I prayed and asked God to help us and I mapped out a list of nearby churches. I narrowed the search down to either Baptist, Methodist or possibly an independent denomination. I chose Baptist because I’d been enjoying listening to some Baptist preachers on the radio for the previous couple of years, and Methodist because I’d been a member of the same Methodist church ever since I was a little girl. Some of my favorite memories there go as far back to when I was a little child in vacation bible school, a preteen singing in the youth choir, and a teenager in the youth group. It was there that I first trusted in Christ at age 12.

 

So, as soon as we got settled in our new home, I got the girls ready every Sunday, and we’d go visit a new church. It wasn’t long before the girls were complaining and I was also getting tired of visiting so many different churches. Something was wrong. None of the messages seemed convicting. None of people seemed seemed very friendly. None of the churches felt like “our new church.” It was discouraging.

 

Then one day I opened the door to two young men who wanted to talk to me about God. So, I welcomed them inside and we talked. I don’t remember all what we talked about that day, but I do remember thinking how nice they were to go out to talk to people in person. They spoke of Jesus, high family values and good clean living. I was impressed! They gave me a paperback copy of one of their books and I accepted their invitation to come visit their church.

 

So the next Sunday we went to their church. The first thing I noticed was that there wasn’t a cross anywhere, inside or out. They didn’t have a pastor, but instead, they had a few members who stood up to speak. When they spoke it seemed more like a business meeting than church. Then they held communion and used water instead of grape juice. I began to question myself in my mind, “What kind of church is this?” Everyone was so nice, but I walked out of that church confused. These people were probably some of the sweetest people you’d ever want to meet, but this church, who used the name of Jesus Christ in their name, and who spoke of Jesus, was not like any church I was used to.

 

The following week, the two young men came back to visit and ….

– I asked why they used another book besides the Bible and they said it was because they believed that the two books were better than one and that they complimented each other. They said, “Are not two witnesses better than one?”

– I asked why they didn’t have a cross on the church. They explained that crosses on the top of churches were just lightning rods. So then I asked why there wasn’t a cross on the inside and they said there was one inside but I must not have seen it. Then they questioned why would churches want to put crosses up everywhere when dying on the cross was such a horrendous way to die.

– I asked why they used water instead of grape juice for communion and they said that water was a better representation of Christ because of its clarity and purity. They questioned why anyone would want to drink “blood.”

– I also asked why they didn’t have a pastor and was told it was because they believed that it’s wrong to pay someone to talk about Christ. They said that pastors who accept money for preaching are “apostates” or people who have left the faith.

With each of their answers I became increasingly uncomfortable, especially when they referred to their other books.  They basically had an answer for everything and even some biblical references but I really wasn’t seeing the connection. I felt their explanations were wrong but I lacked the biblical knowledge to be able to reference chapter and verse to debate them. At the same time I was confused because they claimed to be Christians and they were so incredibly nice.

I told them of my own salvation experience as a 12 year old, my drifting away from God in my teens and early twenties, and then my conviction of sin in my mid twenties one night after watching Billy Graham on TV. Then, they questioned who Billy Graham was, and I thought, what kind of Christian doesn’t know who Billy Graham is?

I escorted them to the door and decided it was time to pay a visit to the local Christian book store to find out a little more about this church.

And then,

I found a book titled, The God Makers, and began reading it on a Saturday afternoon. I stayed up almost all night reading the entire 600+ page book. It was more than just enlightening; it was shocking. How could I have been so naive? How did I not know that they had a false gospel and that they worship another Jesus, not the Jesus of the Bible? Keeping in mind the World Wide Web and Google were yet to be invented in 1988, but still, how did I not know?

After only a few hours of sleep, I woke up late and thought if I hurried I could go to the closest Baptist church to our house, right around the corner. I had previously dismissed visiting this church because the building was so old and small. It was nearly time for church to start when I turned into the tree lined driveway next to that old tiny wood framed church. I was totally surprised to then see a huge new church building further back on their property surrounded by trees. That old tiny church out front was just a memorial of their original church building!

 I rushed in just in time for the service to start. The church was packed, The songs were spirit filled. The people had their bibles, pens and paper in hand to take notes as the pastor spoke. His message that day was on the grace of God. Everything the pastor said was so true, so convicting and spoke directly to my heart. He quoted bible verse after bible verse on the grace of God. Everything made perfect sense. I went forward at the end of the service. I was both moved by the pastor’s sermon and upset with myself for having such a precious gift of salvation and somehow not knowing enough not to go to that other church. And all the while, this church was the closest church to me! How ironic? Well actually, how providential!

Soon after, I joined that church and was baptized by immersion. I got involved in bible study, children’s church, the bus ministry, and eventually helping with the visitation ministry – the very thing that I admired in those two young men. Except, when given the opportunity, I told people that,

– The Bible alone is God’s word and it sufficient and sovereign. No one should add or take away from it, and…..

 – The cross is the symbol of our Christian faith and that it is nothing to be ashamed of or be hidden from view. It was on the cross that Jesus died in our place, for our sins, and….

 – The shed blood of Christ is precious to us because it provided a way of salvation to all who believe in Jesus. Grape juice has long been used for Christian communion of the Lord’s Supper as a symbol of His sacrifice and the new Covenant.

So God answered my prayer about finding a new church in a way that I wasn’t expecting. I got so much more than just a new church home. I learned a few things.

First of all, although my heart may have been in the right place, my motive was wrong. I was praying and looking for a new church but I was putting too much emphasis on finding a “church” and not enough on growing my personal relationship with Him. God, by His grace, moved me 1000 miles away from home, to grow me in my faith and in my relationship with Him. I was perfectly happy at my old church but I really wasn’t growing in Christ there, or at least not in the way that God was wanting me to grow. He used this experience to teach me that although He loves the church, it’s our personal relationship with Him that is most important. Our relationship with Him should always be growing, and if it’s not, we should pray about it and do whatever is necessary to get our focus on Him and His will for our lives.

Secondly, I believe God allowed this experience so that I’d be able to warn others about false gospels. The church I went to, if you haven’t guessed by now, was a Mormon church, also known as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or LDS. After what I learned about them, those initials might as well stand for Lucifer, devil, and Satan. Did you know that their founder, Joseph Smith, claimed that Jesus was the spirit brother of Lucifer? Did you know that Joseph Smith believed that you can become a god and that God started out as a man? Interestingly, the LDS church has kept pretty busy over the years rewriting Joseph Smith’s books. Joseph Smith claimed to have written the most perfect book in the world, The Book of Mormon, but that book, as well as other LDS books, The Pearl of Great Price and The Doctrine and Covenants, have been edited and changed numerous times over the years by the LDS church. And these are the books they hold in higher esteem than the Bible?! By the way, I threw my paperback copy of The Book of Mormon in the trash soon after reading “The God Makers.”

Of course, false religion is not limited to the Mormon’s. I write about them here because of my own personal experience, but the fact is, false religions and false gospels are everywhere. A simple Google search today will give you lots of links, but the problem with web searches is that some of the links have questionable sources. Actually, the best way to recognize that which is false, is to know that which is true. So my best advice is this: know Jesus and know His Word; trust in Him alone and in His Word alone. That’s it, plain and simple. That’s the best protection against false religions and those who preach “another gospel.”

So whatever your situation and whatever your prayer, and whether He moves you a thousand miles away or he keeps you right where you are, I pray he answers your prayer in a most unexpected and wonderful way like He did mine.

 

Not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. Galatians 1:7-8

 

Thankful, My Michelle

I think it’s human nature to take things for granted; especially when we’re young. For me, my earliest recollection of being truly thankful was on Thanksgiving Day in 1981. I was 26 years old and at St Francis Hospital in Beech Grove, Indiana, two days after the birth of our first daughter, Michelle. One of the attendants rolled in a large multi-tiered meal cart and handed me my Thanksgiving dinner: turkey, dressing, and all. Michelle, just two days old, lay asleep in the bassinet next to my bed.

It was just the two of us there in that little hospital room.  Harold was at mom’s having thanksgiving dinner with my family. Tears started welling up in my eyes. Not because I felt alone, actually I felt wonderful! Not because of hormones, well, maybe a little. But, because I was so happy and overwhelmed with thankfulness. I was amazed that God had entrusting me to be a mom. I was in love with my Michelle and knew that she was a precious gift on loan from God.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

I prayed, with tears in my eyes, thanking God with every tear.

Later, I wanted to sing something to her and the oh so spiritual (not 😂) lyrics to “ Michelle” by The Beatles came to mind. To me, it was the perfect song about how I felt about “my Michelle” so that’s what I sang:

Michelle, ma belle

These are words

that go together well

My Michelle

Michelle, ma belle

Sont les mots qui vont

Tres bien ensemble

Tres bien ensemble.

I love you, I love you, I love you

That’s all I want to say

Until I find a way

I will say the only words

I know that you’ll understand,

My Michelle.

This was my first Thanksgiving spent away from home and my first Thanksgiving in a hospital, but to me it was really special. It was just me and my Michelle, and it was the first Thanksgiving that I recall where I was so thankful.

Since that day, God blessed us with two more daughters, and many other blessings over the years. But as I’ve grown in my relationship with Christ, I also learned a simple truth: God, regardless of what gifts He gives or does not give, is good, no matter what. I’m thankful for His goodness. I’m thankful for His sovereignty. I’m thankful for His providence. I’m thankful for His protection. The list is endless, but most of all I’m thankful for my salvation through the shed blood of Jesus on the cross. He took my place and paid the price for my sins.

Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 5:20

It was many years ago when I was in my mid-twenties that Billy Graham was on TV one night. I remember walking around the living room cleaning and only occasionally looking over toward the TV but nonetheless hearing every word he said. A few nights later I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about all the sin in my life. I asked for His forgiveness, started reading my bible again and going back to church. I had first come to faith in Christ when I was 12 but had drifted away during my teens and early 20’s. Interestingly enough, I don’t recall ever being thankful during those years. I may have been, but I just don’t recall it.

I think it’s easy to take things for granted when we’re young, but it’s really not just about being young. I know for me, it was only after I repented of my sin and got into a right relationship with God that changed the way I see almost everything, including being Thankful! 🙌🏻

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 107:1

 

 

 

Mom, Megan, and Me 

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It was 1986, an early and cold January morning in Indianapolis. I was excited and ready to go to the hospital to have our second baby! In anticipation of the birth we’d taken our 4 year old, Michelle, over to my mom’s house the night before. So off to the hospital we went with my suitcase, purse, 35mm camera, 2 rolls of film, and a heart full of excitement. On the way to the hospital I nervously loaded my camera with a roll of film. Three days later I discovered I’d loaded it wrong and didn’t get the first 36 pictures I thought we’d taken, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Mom met us at the hospital with Michelle to sit with us in the labor/delivery room. Having family in the labor/delivery room was new to us so when the doctor suggested it, I thought that’d be pretty cool. It was nice to have the people I loved the most right there next to me.

We didn’t know for sure if we were having a boy or a girl. I’d had two sonograms while I was pregnant but the quality of sonograms wasn’t like the quality we have today. They told us in the first sonogram that we were having a girl and in the second sonogram that we were having a boy. We figured the second one was the right one since it was the latest, so we were looking forward to having a new baby boy!

A little over three hours later the doctor said, “It’s a girl!”  So much for that second sonogram! Ha! But having another girl meant we didn’t have to buy baby boy clothes. Besides, baby girl clothes are so much cuter than baby boy clothes (at least back then) and we already had plenty of baby girl clothes! After only a few moments of holding her they took her to the warming table. They wrapped her tight in a receiving blanket and I got to hold her again before they took her off the the nursery. She was a beautiful baby; I loved her immediately.

After a short time in recovery I was taken to my room and  I was just about to doze off to sleep when the doctor came in. He had a team of doctors with him so I was a little surprised at that. He then proceeded to tell me that our daughter was born with Spina Bifida, actually a lipomyelomeningocele, which is a golf ball size fatty tumor that’s attached to her spinal cord. He further explained that she’d probably have difficulty walking, problems with her bladder and that she’ll need surgery soon, and maybe several surgeries down the road. I didn’t really grasp all that he was telling me; it was a lot to absorb.

Then, later that very day, I got a phone call on the hospital room phone from the doctors office where I’d taken my mom earlier in the month. She told me that all the test results were in and that based on the tests the doctor was diagnosing her with Alzheimer’s Disease, and that it was incurable.

In a matter of a few hours, my world had been turned upside down. From the excitement of giving birth to the fear of what the future held for my newborn daughter and my mom. I laid awake all night, crying and praying. By the second night in the hospital, I still couldn’t sleep and I began to hallucinate; it was too much to handle, between the hormones, my newborn, my mom, and at this point I hadn’t slept for going on nearly 36 hours. I cried out for God to give me peace and for the nurse to give me something to help me fall asleep.

I recognized that I needed help; I needed God’s help; I needed the prayers of God’s people.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law  Christ.” Galatians 6:2

I reached out to God in prayer and then I began asking different groups to pray for my daughter and my mom. Up until this time in my life, I don’t recall sharing prayer requests with others. It was hard for me to share my prayer requests. My daughter and mom were so precious to me; I didn’t want people to think less of them or think that they were less than perfect, and I loved them so much. I knew that the power of prayer doesn’t come from the number of people praying, it comes from the Holy Spirit, but I knew I needed help so I was willing to risk being vulnerable.

 

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

The next few years were filled with hospital and doctor visits, surgeries and clinics for our little girl and at the same time, my mother faded away ever-so-slowly into the ravages of Alzheimer’s Disease. I was glad my mom got to come stay with and near us for extended periods of time when she was in the early to mid stages of the disease. Her sweet and gentle spirit was still with her during these stages.

Through these years I learned that it was in the days of burden and prayer for my daughter and my mom that I drew closer to God. He drew me from my independence to be more dependent on Him. I was a very independent person and God knew I needed to change.

“He uses difficulty to strengthen and correct believers and eventually as a tool in achieving His plan.” Charles Stanley


My mom passed away in 1998 after suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease for several years. It was hard to see her fade away to the point that she didn’t know who I was and had lost the ability to walk and talk. Her personality gone, long before her passing, made me miss my mom even while she was still alive. When it came time for her passing, it was hard to let her go, even though I knew she was going to be much better off and be with Jesus. I loved her so much. But I thank God for helping me get through those difficult days and I thank all those who prayed for us during that time.

In our daughter’s early years, it seemed like everything was going to work out ok for her. We had a lot of support, a lot of good doctors and clinics, and many of her teachers would tell me what a great attitude she had.  But the overall reality is that she has had a difficult life with Spina Bifida; it takes it’s toll both physically and emotionally. Little did I realize how difficult her life would be as they wheeled her off to her first neurosurgery when she was barely a month old. I’ll never forget how, after that first surgery, her face was pale and shiny like a China doll as she laid on the hospital bed motionless. I thought for an instant that she didn’t make it; my heart stood still, but then the doctor assured us she was ok. She had a second and third neurosurgery at age 4, a fourth neurosurgery at age 5, and a fifth neurosurgery at age 16. And this was in addition to numerous clinic visits, tests, bladder procedures, physical therapy, feet surgeries and castings over the span of much of her childhood and teen years.

I’m thankful for all the prayers for her over the years, and actually would appreciate your prayers for her still today. As an adult with Spina Bifida she wears legs braces to walk but gets around nowadays mostly by wheelchair. She also has chronic back pain, chronic bladder and kidney infections, and various other related medical issues. Everyday simple things that most people take for granted, like walking, bathing, house cleaning, grocery shopping, etc., all are daily challenges for her. On top of all of this, and by the grace of God, she is also the mother of two beautiful children.
While we all may wonder why God allows things like birth defects, disease and suffering here on earth, I know there are some things that we may not know the answer to until we get to heaven. We all suffer at times, and some some more than others. The who and the why are epic questions for a lot of us, but I do know this: He has a plan and a purpose for everything in our life and I have learned that He wants us to pray and trust Him no matter what.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

While paying for gas in Florida in 2017, I noticed a sign by the register,
“Have you played today?”
It was the state of Florida’s friendly reminder to buy lottery tickets. The lady ahead of me in line apparently didn’t need the reminder. I think she was there just to buy lottery tickets, so much so that it took what seemed like forever before she finished; 10 of this one, 15 of this one, etc. All the while she and the girl at the register laughed and talked about all the things they’d do with the winnings. Then this thought crossed my mind: what if the letter “l” was changed to an “r”,
“Have you prayed today?”

I thought, what a difference that would make in people’s lives. What a difference it’s made in mine.

 

“Men ought always to pray.”Luke 18:1

 

Megan and me, together on our Alaskan cruise in 2018!

My Weight Loss Journey

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Weight gain and loss is such a personal issue; many people struggle with loosing weight; many of us give up. It takes determination, the right foods, portion control, exercise, and a practical plan that you can stick with.  

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Here I am in 2013 holding our youngest grandson at the time, Hudson, who I love dearly.  I have no idea how much I weighed then; I didn’t dare step on the scale nor would I normally post a photo like this! It was taken during a fairly stressful time in my life.  Not that this was the only stressful period in my life, as anyone with grown children can attest, but it was definitely one of them. A few months months earlier, his mother (our youngest daughter Mackenzie) became pregnant at age 15 and gave birth out-of-wedlock at age 16.  Like a lot of people, I tend to overeat during stressful times,  In fact, I can look back at other times in my life that I also gained weight due to specific stressful periods in my life.  Even though I’m a Christian and know that God is in control, I’m still human.

I also tend to keep to myself, especially when it comes to personal issues. It took me a long time before I could even talk about our daughters pregnancy, let alone stop crying about it.  I was so upset but just as I’ve discovered with so many of life’s trials, when I’ve looked to God for help, He taken some of the most stressful moments in my life and turned them into some of the most beautiful things in my life.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Roman’s 8:28

Now I can’t even imagine life without our Hudson! He, along with our other grandchildren are the icing on the cake of life! I know that no human being is ever conceived outside God’s will or ever conceived apart from His image. Unplanned pregnancies may surprise us, but God is never surprised.

Actually our Mackenzie was our surprise baby; she was born when I was 42! I believe with all my heart and told her that, “The God who allowed you to be born when I was 42, is the same God who’s allowed you to give birth at age 16.”  He is the author of life.

For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
    when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
    in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,

Psalm 139:13-16

Here I am in 2013 with our oldest daughter Michelle,on my 59th birthday.  I did my best to hide my weight behind that present. For the most part, I deleted a lot of photos during this time.  I didn’t like being overweight.
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So in February 2016, at age 61, I got the courage up to get back on the scales.  I weighed 173 pounds! I was taking high blood pressure medicine and an acid reflux medicine daily.  I knew I had to do something to change my weight and to improve my health. This is me on February 21, 2016, the day I started Nutrisystem.

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I was tired of deleting photos and tired of being overweight. Up until that time I’d been telling myself that I looked OK for my age, and that gaining weight and taking medicine was all part of getting older.  But I decided that I didn’t want to just look “OK for my age.” I decided I wanted to be the best I can be, both inside and out. So, in addition to my new diet I started drinking water instead of soda, walking 2 or 3 times a week for 30 to 60 minutes each time and listening to my favorite bible teachers on my EarPods: Alistair Begg, Steve Lawson, and John MacArthur, etc. I loved getting fresh air, walking, and listening to biblical messages all at the same time; multi-tasking at its best! It became my favorite time of the day.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2  

By end of the first week I’d lost 7 pounds and just 2 months later in April I’d lost 21 lbs.  I entered Nutrisystem’s Success Story contest for a chance to win $10K and a chance to be in one of their commercials. In August 2016 I was asked to be a call-in guest for two QVC/Nutrisystem TV shows that month and to come to Tampa, FL the following month for a photo shoot.

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By September of 2016 I turned 62 and had lost 40 lbs!  I celebrated my birthday with my family and a Nutrisystem Carrot Cake.

A few days after my birthday I flew to Tampa for a 5-day photo shoot for Nutrisystem along with 14 others who had also lost weight. My daughter Michelle took off work and came down the next day to keep me company.  I loved being a part of something so fun and interesting.

It reminded me of when I was young, I wanted to be a model, and although I did do some modeling in my teens and twenties, I wasn’t tall enough to be a model so modeling really wasn’t a viable option for me. But in Tampa, I was pampered and treated just like a real model, with wardrobe, make-up and hair stylists.  I was photographed against a white screen and did some short promotional video monologues on a green screen. I didn’t win the contest nor did they use me in any of their commercials but it was still a great experience.

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Me and my Michelle in Tampa after the photo shoot:

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After I returned home from the photo shoot, I found the same dress that wardrobe had picked out for me to wear, except in a smaller size.  The dress that I wore in their photo shoot was a little big on me and had to be pinned in the back, but this one fit perfect:

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Since losing 40 pounds my doctor gave me the OK to stop taking both my blood pressure medicine and acid reflux medicine. My blood pressure has continued to be normal ever since. I’m thankful for my good health and don’t take it for granted. I maintain my weight by drinking lots of water, eating healthy, and am still walking and listening to my favorite bible teachers.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

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“Don’t shine so others can see you. Shine so that that through you, others can see Him.” C.S. Lewis

Stress and problems are facts of life, but with God, nothing is impossible.  I believe God has a plan and a purpose for everything that happens in life; be it our plans or our surprises, or our successes or our failures. We are to keep your focus on Him through it all.

Pretty is as Pretty Does

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It’s hard to write about my mom. I feel like words can’t even begin to describe how much of a good mother she was or how much I loved her!

But here I’ll try.

I remember my mom used to always say, “Pretty is as pretty does.” I was so young when she used to say this to me, I didn’t really understand what it meant.

My mom was born in Illinois in 1921 and was given the name of “Sarah Katherine” but at some point she changed the spelling to “Sara Kathryn.” Back then it was common to be born at home and so my grandmother gave birth to all four of her children at home. My mother, her second child, along with her sister and two brothers, grew up during the depression. She told me that they were so poor that for Christmas all they would get would be an orange and maybe a homemade toy or doll.

Mom with her baby sister, Naomi, and older brother David:

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Mom with her sister, Naomi, and younger brother, Ralph, and their billy goat:

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They moved to Indiana sometime during her childhood and she graduated from high school in 1938.

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It was there at Cloverdale High School that she met my dad. They fell in love and got married in 1941, three years after they graduated from high school.

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They had six kids, of which I was the 5th!

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Mom and me, Easter 1956 🙂

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Growing up I remember she babysat a lot of kids; some for weeks at a time! People would come pick their kids up and not even pay her because they didn’t have enough money. I remember one summer she watched 3 or 4 kids from one family for the whole summer and when the dad came to pick them up he only gave her $20.

My mom would kneel at her bed at night to pray and get up early in the morning to read her bible.  I remember when we lived on Hickory Lane in Indianapolis and she would sit alone reading her Bible in our tiny kitchen nook just off the kitchen. I remember her sitting there in that little nook, with the yellow ruffled curtains, and the smell of black coffee. If any of us kids would get up too early she would tell us to go back to bed! I remember one morning in particular I stood there watching her and wanting her attention so I said something mean to try to get it. It worked but not in the way I had wanted. It would be years later until I would understand why she needed that quiet time with the Lord.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

My mom worked hard taking care of us and the all the kids she babysat. I remember piles of laundry in the basement and wondering how there could be so much of it! She’d be exhausted just from looking after all of us, let alone trying to keep the house clean and keeping up with the laundry. Once she sat down to watch TV or to rest she usually fell asleep from exhaustion. She used to say that her eyelids were attached to her knees so whenever she sat down her eyelids would close!

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My mom took pride in making her dollar stretch. She’d buy a gallon of whole milk and then mix it with powdered milk to make two gallons.  She’d also go to two or three different grocery stores each week just to get the best prices, using store coupons at each one.

She also was a great cook and could always find something in our pantry or in the freezer to put a meal together. My dad worked at White Castle as an office supervisor, and would bring home boxes of slightly outdated frozen White Castle hamburger patties. My mom would then make all sorts of different meals out of them; basically anything that called for ground beef. She could make something out of almost anything and it always tasted good! All except liver and onions! I’d skip that and settle for peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Actually one of my favorite snacks was one of my mom’s favorites, a banana with peanut butter.

My mom was a lot like her mom, my grandma. Some of my favorite memories were of us going to my grandma’s house to for family dinners. My grandma made the best rubarb pie in the world!  My grandma used to tell me that she prayed for me, and I’m so thankful for her and her prayers.  I loved her so much.

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My mom had a natural love for her family but at the root of her love for us, was the love that she had for Jesus.

I wasn’t exactly the perfect child but she loved me unconditionally. There wasn’t anything I could do or say to make her not love me. She made a difference in my life and in the lives of many people she came in contact with.

She was always thinking of others first. She had compassion and love for hurting people, and for people in need. I remember her making sandwiches and handing them out to strangers in need. She treated them with love and respect. She had such a gentle, sweet and giving spirit. She had the love of Jesus in her heart and she made sure each one of us knew how much she loved us.

When we all grew up and had families of our own she made sure that each of her children and grandchildren knew how much she loved us. She was always looking forward to our next family get-together! She would do anything and everything she could for any one of us.

Mom in her basement on McFarland Rd with five of her grandkids Christmas 1986:

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She lived the last 20 years of her life as a widow and spent most of the last 10 of those years suffering from the effects of early onset Alzheimer’s. She came to live with and near me for part of those latter years. Even though the disease affected her personality and her memory, just to just be near her and to spend time with her was special to me.

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Here’s some pics from our last couple of family Christmas get-togethers:

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Our last family get-together was in January of 1998 in Vincennes, Indiana. We took photos all together, one right after the next, in hopes of catching her old familiar smile.   But the raveges of Alzheimer’s had taken it’s course and she could no longer smile; nor walk or talk.  She was ready to go home.  See passed from this life on earth to her heavenly home on September 15, 1998 at age 77.  I was there, along with my sister and brother, and read some bible verses to her, prayed and held her hand as her soul passed to heaven to be with the Lord.

So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.         2 Corinthians 5:6-8

I’ll not post those photos from January of 1998.  Instead I want to remember my mom the way she was for the greater part of her life here on earth. She was a pretty lady by any standards and even in today’s world where so much emphasis is put on outward appearance, but it was her beauty that radiated from within that will be her legacy. My mom lived her life, simply put, with love for God and her family. And while I didn’t understand it as a child,  I eventually came to learn the meaning of “Pretty is as pretty does” because of my mom and the way she lived her life.

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People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

The Land That I Will Show You

The Land that I will show you-2The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land that I will show you.” Genesis 12:1

As far back as I can remember, I was a headstrong and independent child. I wanted to do things my own way and make my own decisions. While some may consider these somewhat positive traits in an adult, they’re not so much in a child, nor are they positive traits in a Christian. Old habits die hard. But God, in His sovereign providence, uses both our positive and negative personality traits in His plan for our lives. He uses bits and pieces of our past, including and especially our problems, in our walk of faith toward Him and with Him. Here is one such time in my life:

In February of 1988, We were almost 8 years into our marriage, with 2 young children, living in my hometown, on the south side of Indianapolis. Life was far from perfect but it was pretty good; I was happy, enjoying living near family (my mom was only a couple of miles from me), I had a great job working for a small airline and I enjoyed attending my childhood church.

Then out of the blue, my husband decided we should move to Florida. His parents had moved there a few years before and we had enjoyed visiting there, but like the saying goes, “It’s a nice place to visit but I don’t want to live there.” I repeat, I didn’t want to live there! Indianapolis was my hometown and I didn’t want to move away. I didn’t want to leave my mom. I didn’t want to leave the life I had grown familiar with. I didn’t want to leave my church. But, long story short, he left the first week in February, 1988, without me and the kids. He moved in with his parents and found a new job right away. I wasn’t upset but I wasn’t too happy about it either. I basically was just hoping he’d change his mind and come back home soon.

Over next few months we both continued hold on to our individual opinions about where we should live. The thought of divorce crept in my mind but I still loved my husband and he still loved me. We were just having a disagreement on where we should live. I didn’t like him not agreeing with me and I wanted him to just come back home. We really were at an impasse.

So I got my bible and I searched for answers. I read in Malachi that God hates divorce. I read in Ephesians that wives should submit to their husbands as to the Lord. And I read in Genesis that God called Abraham, in an act of obedience, to leave his homeland and to move to an unknown and faraway land. Now I read these things but at the same time I was having a conflict with my old nature of being headstrong and independent. I considered life as a single mom, a life of independence, where I called all the shots, but then, I prayed earnestly for clear directions from God about what to do.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

Then it finally became clear to me – my husband wasn’t asking me to jump off a cliff, or asking me to break a law, or asking me to do something against God, he was just asking me to move to Florida to be with him.  God gave me a sense of peace about moving and I began to see the situation as an act of obedience towards both my husband and God. This was a big step for me because I think I’d been holding on to my independence ever since childhood, and even into my marriage.  I believe God increased my faith right then and there as I realized I needed to be more obedient to Him and to my husband.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”  Ephesians 5:21

Abraham had great faith in God and was obedient to Him. God told Abraham he was going on a journey that would require him to leave his country, his people, and his father’s household. Obedience meant he had to say goodbye to relationships and the things near and dear to him. Separation from the familiar played a part in his development of his strong faith in God. Sometimes God asks us to let go of something we hold dear before He let’s us take a hold of something new. It’s all a part of living by faith; trusting In Him even when we don’t see how all the pieces fit together, and believing that He’ll work everything out.

So with a leap of faith, a step of obedience, and a hopeful heart, I moved to Florida with our two young daughters the 1st day of June in 1988 to be with my husband. In the coming months God blessed me in ways I never imagined and my faith in Him grew in a most unexpected way – which I plan to be the subject of one of my future blogs.

The Wishing Well

Wishing Well

Back in the 1980’s, we lived in a small double (or some called it a duplex) on the south side of Indianapolis. It was a rental (owned by my mom) and it was our first real home together after living in an apartment for a short while after we got married.  It was pretty plain on the outside with red brick and white siding; the inside was even more plain. But I was so excited to fix it up and to give it my own personality!  I painted, wall papered and spruced it up as best as I could!

Home decorating has always been one of my favorite things to do. It started back when I was in my teens. I loved changing my bedroom room around and redecorating it. I would pick a color and run with it! My first favorite color was orange! Everything was either orange because it came that way or I painted or dyed it! I even painted my TV orange! No kidding!  Then I moved on to blue & green and of course I painted my TV, picture frames, etc. Basically if it could be painted, I did it!  Next, I moved on to green and white. In the early 2000’s my favorites were hunter green, tan and white. Fast forward to today, my favorite decorating colors are deep red, black, gray and white! 😊

So anyway, back to our first home. I got it looking pretty much to my liking, considering what little budget we had and with what I had to work with. But, eventually I found myself spending a lot of time going through catalogs looking for more decorating ideas and wishing I could afford this or that. I would circle and ear-mark my favorite things and then stack up my “wish list” catalogs in a nice pile. The closest thing to it today would probably be surfing online and “Pinterest.” 😊

Around this same time, I found myself daydreaming and wishing things were different in my marriage. The honeymoon was over, so-to-speak, and things weren’t quite the way I had imagined. I found myself both wanting and wishing for nicer stuff and for things to be different in my marriage. I thought of it kind of like a “wishing well” in my heart.

According to Wikipedia, a wishing well is a old term from European folklore to describe wells where it was thought that wishes could be granted by the guardian or god of the well. After uttering a wish, you would drop a coin in the well and that wish would then be based upon how the coin would land at the bottom of the well. If the coin landed heads-up, the guardian of the well would grant the wish, but the wish of a tails-up coin would be ignored. It was thus potentially lucky to throw coins in the well, but it depended on how they landed.

What a silly folklore; all based on chance or luck, and some unknown guardian or god.

One day after a particularly unfulfilling period of time spent looking at catalogs, and daydreaming about how I wished things were, this verse came to mind:

“You have not because you ask not.”
James 4:2

I realized that my wishes and wants, as genuine and real as they were to me, were not going anywhere (but to the bottom of a well) because they were just that – wishes. I had not been praying and asking God about these things. I realized I’d been wishing for things when instead, I could have and should have be praying about them.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matthew 6:33

So I began to pray and it was in my praying, I learned to shift my focus off of my material wants and off my daydreaming, and instead, changed my focus toward God. It was in my prayers and my growing relationship with Him that I found true happiness. I learned that happiness and contentment are not found in what you have, they’re found in Who you know. I learned that God wanted me to pray about everything, especially my wishes, because it was in my prayers that I began to know the heart of God.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7:7-11

From all of this I learned that God is good. He uses anything and everything to draw us toward Him; material goods or lack thereof, our wishes, our problems, our daydreams, our past, our present, our talents and our treasures, etc.

So today, if you find yourself doing a lot of wishing and wanting, try praying instead. Wishing will get you no farther than the bottom of a well. Praying will eventually get you abundantly more than you could ever imagine. 💭🙏🏻😊

Dancing With The Scars

Dancing with the Scars

No one is immune from life’s difficulties. So, while I’d rather write about all the good times in my life, I know that my story would not be complete without including the not-so-good times. I believe it was in my search for answers to those dark times that I learned to trust in God and in His goodness. I also believe He allowed my struggles and difficulties to mold and make me into the person He wanted me to be. He has an eternal perspective and long-term plans in mind when He allows various circumstances in our lives. He knows the big picture.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Vivian Green

What an encouraging old quote! If I could update and simplify it a bit, it’d be, “Dancing with the Scars.” While dancing (living) we’ll likely develop scars (hurts) and while scaring is a natural part of the healing process, dancing and scaring are inevitable, but healing is optional. I found my healing in Christ.

So when I was around age 6 to 8 years old I was sexually abused. To those who have not gone through this sort of thing, I understand where you might think, “Get over it.” But to those who have, I say, “You’re not alone. Abuse is traumatic. It affects how you think and feel about yourself and how you relate to people. It also affects how you relate to God.”

I never told anyone about the abuse back then; I was afraid and I was a child. My mind blocked the memories of it until I was an adult. When the memories of it returned in adulthood, I went through a series of faith growing periods in my life, which also included forgiving those who had abused me. While I choose not to go into details of the sexual abuse, I will share about another traumatic experience that I went through when I was around 11 years old:

While babysitting a toddler and a baby, I was held at knife point over a large bloody bowl of water that contained a dead rabbit. I was forcibly held and forced to watch him cut apart the rabbit. I was basically scared out of my mind and was afraid to tell anyone about it. That experience alone was traumatic enough but it was made even more frightening when I learned that within a few months of what he did to me, a woman’s cut-up remains were found under the floor board of the very kitchen where he had traumatized me. He had fled the state and within a few months was caught and convicted of attempted murder of a woman in another state. I was told that he was suspected of murdering several other women while he was on his 18 month run from the police. He went to prison, where he later died, while on a work-release program.

In retrospect, even though it was a traumatic experience for me, I believe that God placed His hand of protection over me that day and protected me from being murdered. This event and the sexual abuse was all prior to me coming to faith in Jesus Christ. I believe God, in His sovereignty and providence, had plans for me and my life even before I was born.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.” Jeremiah 1:5

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Romans 5:3-5

I believe the hardships in life have a purpose; they can develop our endurance, strengthen our character, give us hope, and shape our thoughts about God.

In Genesis 50:20, Joseph told his brothers, As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

God uses the troubles and traumas in our lives to get our attention, shape our perspective, and ultimately to make us more like Him. While we may not understand why He allows some things in our lives, we are to trust Him nonetheless.

I have long ago forgiven my abusers, and it was because I asked God to help me forgive them. When I asked him to help me forgive, He gave me the gift of forgiveness in my life. It changed my perspective radically. God’s word tells us to forgive:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Regardless of what sins were committed against me, there came a time in my own life where I realized that I too was guilty of sin. It was at that point, that my life began to change; and when I came to understand that:

We’re all born with a sin nature.

We’re all hopeless without Christ.

We’re all sinners in need of a Savior.

Jesus took the penalty that we deserve and offers us a new and eternal life in Him, when we come to Him in repentance and faith.

I also believe it’s wrong to see yourself as a victim. While it’s true you may have been a victim, I’m saying it’s wrong to see yourself in that way. See yourself in the light of God’s word:

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24

“All” includes the most vile person you have ever known, up, and including the sweetest person you have ever known.

“None is righteous, no, not one.”
Romans 3:10

And when you receive God’s free gift of salvation through faith and trust in Christ alone, God sees you and receives you, clothed in the righteousness of Christ. That offer includes you and me, and it includes my abusers.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

So dance, because life is a gift, regardless of our difficulties and scars. God has made a way for all who come to Him in repentance and faith to live here and now, and into eternity. Don’t focus on the difficulties and the scars. Focus on Him who,

“…was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5